The Labels We Wear – And Why They’re So Damn Heavy
“I’m Sonya — my mother’s daughter, my children’s mum, my husband’s wife.”
That was how I introduced myself for years.
Not intentionally. It just slipped out that way.
It was safe. It was expected. It told people everything they needed to know — or so I thought.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot to introduce me.
Because when you’re juggling a million roles — the good daughter, the capable partner, the hands-on mum, the top performer, the fixer, the friend who always shows up — you can lose the woman underneath all that doing.
And I did.
I remember the day it hit me. I was folding washing — again. Load number six, I think. My toddler was clinging to my leg, my phone was buzzing with a work crisis, and I was mentally drafting an apology to a friend I hadn’t called back in two weeks. My coffee had gone cold (again), and I stood there thinking: How did I get here?
Not geographically. Emotionally.
I had the life. A career. A family. The kind of “balance” we’re told to strive for. But I wasn’t feeling balanced. I was exhausted. Not just physically — emotionally, spiritually, mentally depleted.
And worse… I felt invisible. Like I had become a role instead of a person.
Psychologists have long explored the concept of “role engulfment” — when our identity becomes so wrapped up in a role (like mother, daughter, or leader) that we forget who we are beyond it.
Research by LeanIn.org found that 68% of professional women tie their self-worth to being needed. Let that sink in.
It’s no wonder we struggle to let go. These labels feel like badges of honour — and sometimes they are. But they’re also heavy. And if we don’t check in with ourselves, they quietly become cages.
Roles give us something to hold onto when we’re unsure. But they can also hold us back — from growth, from freedom, from discovering the version of ourselves we’ve never met.
Let’s talk about the “good girl.” You might recognise her.
She was praised for being polite, for helping out, for putting others first. She didn’t rock the boat. She worked hard. She stayed quiet when it mattered. She made everyone else feel safe.
And then she grew up.
And became the woman who doesn’t say no.
Who doesn’t ask for help.
Who apologises for having needs.
Who’s burnt out but keeps going because “that’s just what I do.”
Sound familiar?
These roles start early. Conditioned through generations. Reinforced through praise. Rewarded in schools, families, workplaces.
But no one tells us how to take them off. No one says, “Hey, you don’t have to be everything to everyone.”
It’s terrifying at first.
You feel selfish. Exposed. Untethered.
You might hear the voice in your head saying, “Who do you think you are?”
You might feel guilt for wanting more than just being someone else’s support act.
But something else happens too. You begin to breathe again.
The first time I caught myself saying, “I’m Sonya,” without attaching a title or role to it, it felt awkward. And then — it felt powerful.
I was finally giving myself permission to exist as me.
Not as someone’s something. Just… me.
If you’ve read this far, I know something in you is stirring. Maybe you’ve been playing a role for so long you’re not sure what life would look like without it. Maybe you’re scared of what you’d lose.
But what if — just for today — you asked yourself this:
Who am I without the label?
Try this:
1. Write down the top 3 roles you identify with right now.
2. Next to each, jot down what you love about that role — and what feels heavy.
3. Ask yourself: If I didn’t have to be that today, what would I do differently?
You don’t have to burn it all down. This isn’t about walking away.
It’s about walking towards something truer.
If you’ve been stuck in the “strong one” role — the one who holds it all together while quietly falling apart — I see you.
If you’ve stayed in the daughter role far beyond childhood — still performing to meet someone else’s expectations — I see you.
If you’ve felt more like an executive title than a woman — I see you.
The world will keep rewarding you for performing.
But your soul will keep calling you home.
It’s not weakness to take the cape off. It’s wisdom.
The Higher Mind Protocol was created for women just like you — high-functioning, deeply committed, and quietly craving something more.
This isn’t just mindset work. It’s an unmasking.
It’s where you:
- Reconnect with your core values (not the ones handed to you — the ones within you).
- Identify the unconscious beliefs driving your behaviour.
- Learn how to say yes to yourself without guilt.
- Break free from roles that keep you small.
- Redefine success on your terms.
Because you weren’t born to play a part.
You were born to live fully — as you.
And if you’re ready, I’d love to help you remember who that is.
Curious about your next chapter?
Let’s start with a conversation.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to start.
